Thursday, September 27, 2012

How NOT to look hot in a mini van, and other things

Since I last spoke on the topic of looking hot in a mini van, allow me to now speak on how NOT to look hot in a mini van.

Hypothetically, of course.

Let's say a  mom gets up early in the morning and makes pumpkin-flavored coffee.She wears her favorite coral skinny jeans and 4-inch wedge heels.
She signs all of her son's school papers and tucks them neatly inside his folder. She even remembers to pack 2 snacks for him because it's chorus day, and he'll need an extra. They leave the house in plenty of time to make it to school, even if they have to sit through a light 3 times because traffic is heavy. Traffic is always heavy. They make it 2/3 of the way to school, and then it happens.

The mom knows immediately. Her heart sinks. The lights come on. The steering is out.

You see, while she runs here and there and makes it to ballet and school and church and rehearsals and while her day planner is heaped with masses of ink and highlighter, she neglected to heed the warning of the tiny but insistent gas light on her dash, and so now...she sits.

Hypothetically, of course.

She will call her husband eight times, but since he got off work at 5 AM, he'll be in a dead can't-wake-him-unless-you-shake-him sleep.

And he won't answer.

Then she'll call her brother-in-law because he works close by, but while she's pleading with him, it will hit her that her Father-in-law's office is also near. She calls and he answers immediately. He can be there within 15 minutes.

And so they sit.

Hypothetically, of course.

Let's say this mom and her son were on a highway, and traveling at 55 mph. Let's also say that while she was able to coast for quite a while, she couldn't make it to the shoulder of the road.


She's in the middle of it.


Not moving.

In a mini van and fabulous 4-inch wedges.

While she's waiting, she just might decide to see how strong she is, and despite the fact that she's in fabulous 4-inch wedges, she'll throw it in neutral, stick a leg out, and try to move her car. Oh yes she will. She'll try, but goshdarnitall, she's just not strong enough. Nor is she really trying, because she'd kinda hate to get all dirty before work and whatnot.

After a couple of futile attempts to move an entire mini van with one leg, she'll give up and sit. And check facebook. And look at the cars on the road that are moving. After 5 more minutes, a Police Officer will stop behind her and offer to push it to the side of the road. She'll be so grateful that she'll want to throw her arms around him, but realizes this might be a bit awkward. Plus, she's got a hot hubs sleeping at home, so she simply throws it back into neutral and forces the now dead steering wheel to the far right.

It starts to rain.

Sweet Police Officer is pushing with all his might, but it's slow-going because, well, it's a mini van with two people and a double stroller and about 200 cds inside. It's heavy.

The rain goes from drizzle to pour.


A random guy in a truck passes by, and seeing the whole 'Police Officer pushing a mom and her son in a mini van in the rain' situation, decides to throw his weight behind the mini van as well. Within 30 seconds, the van has made it to the shoulder. The mom almost forgets to throw it back in park. The van may have rolled backwards a few inches.

She thanks the Police Officer again, who runs back to his car because it's still raining. Random guy-in-truck will take off quickly. Probably because he's soaking wet.

They sit.

After 5 more minutes, Father-in-law is there, gas can in hand. She thanks him profusely for his help, and in no time at all, they are both on their way.

As this mom heads towards school, it dawns on her that while the Police Officer was pushing her van, he would have been staring at her license plate.

Which has expired.

Because, you see, she hasn't scheduled time to do that either.



*Into the Woods moves into the Bama this Friday night.

* On Saturday, the cast performs at River Market from 9:00-11:00 AM. If you're local, please come out and see us! And buy some tomatoes!

* On Sunday, we'll rehearse from 2:00-9:00 with tech and costumes. (And no worries- I'm totally giving them a break to eat.)

*On Monday night, we'll have our 2nd dress rehearsal

*On Tuesday, we'll have 2 hours to run each of the musical numbers in the show because there's a movie showing that night in the theatre. (sigh)

* On Wednesday, the show opens. We'll do two school performances- one at 9:00 and one at 12:00. My son's class will be attending Wednesday and I'm super pumped that I'll get to watch with him. After the 2nd performance, I'll make a mad dash home to pick up my favorite 3 year-old & her tutu and then zoom to ballet. Please God, let there be gas in the van.

*On Thursday, my son's class will travel to the Georgia Aquarium, and while I'd planned to be at the school performances that day, I can't miss this trip. I don't want him that far away from me without me, and how many times do you go to the GA Aquarium with your 2nd grade class? Just once.

*On Friday, my girls and I will be going to a Bridesmaids brunch, where we'll eat fabulous food and wear frilly dresses. After picking up O from school, we'll head home to get gussied up for the rehearsal dinner. At some point during the day, I'll call my fabulous stage manager to see how the shows are going. I'm also hoping to pop in backstage before the wedding festivities to see the cast and tell them to break a leg. Please for the love, someone clone me.

*On Saturday, my one and only little seester becomes Mrs. Chad Clark.

Big day.

There is also a special event happening that day at the theatre prior to the matinee that I'll write more about soon.

*On Sunday, the show closes and we'll strike the set and have a par-tay.

*On Monday, I'll teach all day, and then direct my first concert of the year with half of the 2nd graders at my school. We'll be dressed in 50's attire while we belt out songs by the Beatles and Elvis and Little Richard.

*On Tuesday, I'm thinking of getting a sub and collapsing in a heap on the ground.

**And on MORE THAN ONE OF THOSE DAYS, I'll be putting gas in my van. Weather it needs it or not**

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

How to look Hot in a Mini Van

So remember when I went kicking and screaming into the driver's seat of a mini van? There's a new book called, "How To Look Hot in a Mini Van", and the author, Janice Min, sat down with Kathie Lee and Hoda yesterday to talk about it. Props to my friend Melanie for letting me know about it cause you can bet yer sweet bippy I'll be reading it.

Here's the segment from the show, and I'm curious- any of you out there interested to see what's in the book? Any fave celebrity mom's whose style you love? Any of you still trying to lose the baby weight from your last kid who happens to be over two, or is that just me?

Visit for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

p.s. I'm still rockin' this keychain from etsy.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Shop update and some cheap tappers

Howdy friends! I hope you all had a lovely weekend! I (finally) listed the Matilda Jane mesh bag hair accessories in the shop, along with 5 new sets of pillow covers.

And reason #428 why ebay is the bomb-diggity:

Eliza started back to ballet last week and had outgrown ALL of her ballet and tap gear. While ballet shoes and a new leotard were quickly picked up on the cheap last week, tap shoes were not. I type 'girl tap shoes size 9' into the search bar of ebay yesterday and the first listing is for a pair IN THE BOX that closes in 16 minutes, and get this- they're currently at .99 with no bids.

I won those puppies for .99

It will cost me more to ship them here (9.00) than the actual cost of the shoes, but a score none-the-less.


(I must say that when I asked E what her favorite part of dance class was last week, her response was "Tap-shoeing". That girl has musical theatre in her blood, I tell ya. Makes me smile.)

Happy Monday!

Friday, September 14, 2012

A little Fall-ness

Since blogland is in full-out throw-those-Fall-goodies-up-on-that-mantel-and-on-that-front-door-and-craft-some-Fall-ish-stuff-NOW mode, I thought I'd throw together a little post about some Fall goodies that I made.

Last year.

And the year before.

Because I'm currently in the midst of a 3-jobs-at-once type situation, and while I'd love to be craftin' up a storm with the rest of you, the only storm I'm seeing seems to have just passed through my house. As in, parts of it are a wreck.


Anywho- here are a few posts from the past to hopefully get your juices flowing and your hot glue a-meltin'...

(just click the title to go straight to the post)

Don't forget to come and see me tomorrow from 9-1 in the gym of Holt High School for an amazing craft fair with tons of vendors and lots of handmade goodies!

Food too.

Lots of food.


Happy weekend to ya!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Blog garage sale

As promised, I'm back today with a slew of items for sale and seeing as how it's now 10:30 pm at the moment, I'll be brief and to the point.

My post from yesterday explains why we're seeking funds and why I'm going through our closets like a crazy mad woman. If you have girls who wear 9-24 month clothing (or if you know folks who need these sizes) or if you have boys who wear 4T/5T/6T (or if you know folks who need these sizes), then scroll on down. There are also several pair of girls shoes, sizes 5, 6, 7, and a PS3 Spiderman game that hubs just handed me. 


Here goes.

boy's sweaters, 18 month- 2T
Gap, Eddie Bauer, genuine kids, Cherokee
$4 a piece

boy's Polo shirts (top row 5, 6) & Gap kids shirt (xs)
(Bottom row 4, 4, 5)
Red long sleeve- SOLD
Blue/white gingham- SOLD
long sleeve $10
short sleeve $7
these were only worn 2-3 times to church
(green stripe shirt on bottom row in middle has a small food stain. Would probably wash out, but I'm much too tired to try at the moment ;o)

long sleeve striped Polo (6) $7- SOLD
short sleeve Vinyard Vines shirts-  size 6 (solid 1 has a water mark on it) $3
Striped Vinyard Vines- (size 5) $6
bottom row- (all size 5) $2 each

boy's 'collectabiliTEES' from Old Navy
all long sleeve, all size XS (4T/5T)
$3 each
Dark Knight- SOLD
Return of the Jedi- SOLD

boy's short sleeve shirts
all size 4T/5T
$2 each
Green T- SOLD

boy's long sleeve shirts
all size 4T/5T, top right Old Navy shirt is 6
$2 each

girls shoes, all size 5
white keds $5
pink TOMS $10- SOLD
Uggs $7
light pink faux crocs $2
blk Mary Janes $5
hot pink Mary Jane Crocs $4
red leather 'Bear Feet' Mary Janes $10

girls shoes, all size 6 except for
top left squeaky pink sandals, BRAND NEW in box, size 7- $12
green Mary Janes w/ pink flower $8
red/white Mary Janes $8
pink sandals w/ bling $4
green sandals (like new) $6
floral tennis shoes $4 

'E' clothes
brown/white dress w/ pink 'e' monogram (size 3 months, Carter's) $5
white onesie w/ pink gingham circle & brown 'e' $5
mudpie onesie w/ pink 'e' $8
(although my E only wore this once, I just noticed a bit of ribbon is loose from the seam. Probably could be fixed, but again- I'm like way tired)

top row- Silly Goose blue/white smocked outfit w/ green trees (18M) $15
Carter's coral dress (18M) $3- SOLD
bottom row- Genuine Kids gray dot dress (18M) $5- SOLD
Old Navy stripe/denim dress (12-18M) $4- SOLD
Old Navy pink/red dress (12-18M) $3- SOLD

Circo purple outfit (18M) $4
Children's Place pink/multi outfit (18M) $5- SOLD
Flip (from Belk) red/white/blue outfit $4

top row- 2-piece smocked dragonfly outfit (12M) $12
Old Navy velvet pink/red skirt (6-12M) $2
bottom row- Children's Place gray/white sweater dress (12M) $4- SOLD
Genuine Kids pink floral dress w/ rosettes on shoulder (12M) $5- SOLD
Gymboree watermelon sweater and dress (9-12M) $8- sweater is SOLD
dress is still available- $4

Old Navy pink/gray one-piece w/ hood (12-18M) $3- SOLD
Old Navy lilac/cream one-piece w/ hood (18-24M) $3- SOLD
Carter's white onesie w/ polka dots & fleece jumper (NEVER WORN) 18M $8

Genuine Kids 12M pieces $2 each
Faded Glory zebra top/matching skirt (12M) $4- SOLD
Old Navy floral top (18-24M) $2

Old Navy top (12-18M) and pants (18-24M) $2 each- (pants SOLD)
Gymboree pink corduroy jumper (6-12M) $5
Carter's zebra dress (18M) $2

The Children's Place jumper (12M) $4
Cherokee dress (12M) $4
Carter's green/white jumper (18M) $3
Calypso for Target 2-piece outfit (12M) $5- SOLD

NEW WITH TAGS 18M fleece-lined jacket & pants $8- SOLD
Carter's fleece jacket & pants (9M) $5
Wonder Kids 12M top $2- SOLD
Levis jeans 6-12M $4

2-piece reindeer outfit 12-18M $5- SOLD
Old Navy onesie w/ cute ruffle butt 6-12M $2
Old Navy top (6-12M) and pants (3-6M) $2 each- top is SOLD

Old Navy striped pjs (18-24M) $1- SOLD
Joe Boxer yellow & orange pjs 12-18M $1 each- SOLD
The Children's Place blue gingerbread pjs $1- SOLD

Nick & Nora monkey pjs (18M) $2
Nick & Nora owl pjs (18M) $2
DG baby monkey pjs (18M) $1- SOLD
Disney Store Mickey snowman pjs (18M) $1- SOLD

PS3 The Amazing Spiderman game $35

As you can see, I ran out of steam before taking photos of what I pulled from my own closet. Blargh. Anyone local & interested is more than welcome to come take a look. I'm just pooped at the moment, not to be confused with 'I just pooped'. Let's just get that straight right now.

If you're interested in any of the items above, you can reach me at Funnygirl33180(at)aol(dot)com

Guess who made it to ballet yesterday?

Don't forget to come out and see me at Holt Baptist's annual craft fair this Saturday from 9:00-1:00 in the gym of Holt High School!

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

In a fundraising state of mind

Meet Oliver.

My sweet little Jedi.

A boy who loves books and legos.
And light sabers.
And school.
He really, really loves school.

A boy who surprised us a bit by asking if he could audition for the chorus at his school. A boy who became a member of that chorus.

A boy who is ecstatic because this chorus will be singing in Disney World in just over 2 months.

A boy whose parents signed him up to go sing in Disney World with the chorus and also plan to send his mommy and 2 sisters so as not to send a 7 year-old to Florida without a parent and whatnot, and are now wondering exactly how to pay for it all.


That's right.

While in the grand scheme of things, I know a Disney World trip is not high on the super-important-things-of-life scale, but to our kiddos who have never been, we know this will be a HUGE deal to them. Not to mention the fact that I'm quite looking forward to seeing their faces as THEY see and hear and experience the most magical place on Earth.

This is where I tell you about 3 things I'll be doing this week to hopefully put a dent in the cost of this trip.

#1- I've recently purged all of the closets in the house, and I mean ALL, and will be posting pics tomorrow right HERE of several girls items (12-24 month clothing and TONS of shoes), boys items (4, 5, 6), and several things from my closet as well. What's the rule? If you haven't worn it in 6 months it needs to go? Or is it a year? Or 5 years? Anyway, I'll post pics of all of it here on the blog first, and what doesn't sell will go straight to ebay.

#2- This Saturday, I'll have a booth at a local craft fair and will have TONS of pillow covers, headbands, clips, banners, notecards, pins, and chicken wire memo boards. (This was the very first craft fair I attended last year, which pretty much cemented my love of craft fairs. Is there a prize for most mentions of a craft fair in one sentence? Hmm?) Every dime I make will be going straight into the get-Oliver-to-Disney World fund, so if you're local, PLEASE COME BY AND SEE ME! If you're not local, please take a virtual stroll through my shop. I love doing custom orders, so if you don't see the colors/style you need, just shoot me a message.

#3- There is also a chorus-sponsored fundraiser going on right now for the 'Enjoy the City' coupon books. If you've never seen these, they're packed full of hundreds of coupons from local eateries and businesses for freebies and discounted items/services. The cost for each is $20 and 50% goes straight to the student. That's $10 per book, which is pretty darn-tootin' good, but I understand that some won't give a hoot about the coupons, SO (and this is mostly for our family) if you'd like to give a flat donation of $10 or $20 or $1000 to Oliver's trip fund without purchasing a coupon book, well that's just fine and dandy too.

Here's a list of participating businesses as well as a couple coupon pages:

So, that's pretty much all the news that is the news. Come back tomorrow for a slew of clothing for sale as well as a pic of a tiny ballerina. We'll be trying again today for E's first day back at ballet after a feverish day last week. Until then, I'll leave you with a few recent pics, because nothing says 'Help us get to Disney World' like the sweet faces of the kids

Friday, September 7, 2012

3 pics and a vomitous night

and no worries. I did not photograph the vomit.

If you have kids, you are certain to at some point clean up vomit.

Just a fact.

I feel we got lucky in this department because we didn't experience this until Oliver was celebrating his 5th birthday. That's 5 vomit-free years, friends. The girls haven't even been sick, but all of our good fortune in this department vanished last night during what I'll refer to as 'vomit-fest 2012'.

Poor Mary Martin. I guess it was just her turn. To clarify, there is NO stomach bug at the Mathews house, of which I am so grateful. There is, however, a gigantic amount of snot in my little one's head which is making it virtually impossible to breathe, and as we all know, that's something we must do.

After tucking the girls in last night, we heard her crying first. Hubs was the first to arrive on the scene. I smelled it before I saw it. (Sorry- were you eating? Hope not...) The poor babe had choked on the mucous invading her sinuses and was now covered in vomit and crying. While we were trying to decide what to do first,

she did it again.

And then again.

And then one more time.

Until there wasn't a single surface of her bed that wasn't puke-i-fied.

I stripped her and hubs threw her in the bath, and then I cleaned up the mess and gagged. Many times. I gagged so many times that I stopped counting how many times I gagged. Hubs was so grossed out by the whole thing that he stayed in the bathroom with a now much happier MM while I cleaned up vomit-fest.

The poor gal wasn't able to sleep a wink b/c she still can't breathe, which means I wasn't able to sleep a wink b/c she was in the bed with me. I really really hate it when my babes are sick. I also really really hate it when I have to go to work on zero sleep.

And let me set the record straight right here right now:

I do not enjoy cleaning up vomit.

If I could pay someone in hairbows to do this for me, I would.

And that's really all I'd like to say about that. Moving on.


Yesterday morning as I was getting ready for work, I glanced at the tv to see what QVC was trying to sell me, and I took a double-take.

Does anyone really need a facial exercise and toning kit? And if you do, what the heck for? Wait, nevermind. I don't want to know.


Oliver is really into these books called Origami Yoda right now, and in the back are instructions for how to make- you guessed it- an origami Yoda. Yesterday morning, as I put on a bit of makeup, he did a puppet show for me w/ Yoda and Vader.

Love him.

Rehearsals are still going incredibly well. Was that correct grammar? Incredibly well? I'm too tired to think...

Here's a pic I snapped during warm-ups last night. Beautiful sounds coming from this cast, y'all.

Happy Friday, friends!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

oh September...

When I sit down to write, it's usually because I have something new to talk about or an idea has struck and I have to get it out before I forget it, or something has happened that I want to share. Usually, writing for me is easy. I enjoy it. I need it. And that's still the case, only at the moment, right now this very moment, I'm still not quite sure what to write about. September is here and just thinking about what this month brings with it is a bit daunting, and perhaps paralyzing, which is why I think I'm having trouble.

At the moment, I am:
teaching 40 music classes a week
directing a musical
running an Etsy shop
mommying 3 kiddos
wife-ing 1 hubs
occassionally making/cooking things to eat
mostly heating up/picking up from drive-thru
not doing much sleeping
helping my 2nd grader with spelling homework
playing Angry Birds to 'wind down'
cleaning out the girls' closet
planning to post pics of a heap of clothes soon for anyone interested
working on a classic Rock n Roll concert with the 2nd graders at my school
introducing them to Elvis, Little Richard, The Beatles, and the Beach Boys
making custom bows & banners
prepping for seester's wedding
wiping snotty noses
listing some of my clothes on ebay

am I forgetting anything?

The kids extra-curriculars also started back this week. O has chorus on Tuesdays and E has ballet on Wednesdays. After talking about going back to ballet for two straight weeks now, poor gal starts running a fever yesterday and wasn't able to go.

We'll just try to work in TWO classes next week to make up for it, what with all of our free time and whatnot.

In the midst of the crazy, I have found relaxation and calm in the afternoons after school and before rehearsals, just being in the same room with my family. Maybe there are two of us. Sometimes it's all five. Maybe we're playing or reading or watching PBS. Maybe we're talking. Or not. ("We can talk or not talk for hours"- name that movie) Maybe dress-up clothes are involved. Maybe legos. But for those two hours, I try hard not to think about work. Just them. If not for these afternoons, my schedule just might do me in.

 Picture me there, lying across the end of the bed on my stomach playing Angry Birds on the Nook. Not a care in the world besides trying to get those nasty pigs.

Now that I think of it, I DO have actual THINGS to write about. Like an incredibly horrible dvd I purchased for the kids and a crazy fun night at rehearsal last week.

Soon....those will become posts soon.

For now, I'm off to tackle a bit more of September. Happy Thursday, friends!
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