I'm talking about glasses.
You see, when 2nd grade began, I was already well aware that I couldn't see a darn thing on the chalkboard in the front of the classroom, and it didn't matter where I was sitting. I could stand directly in front of words and it just looked like a messy blob of chalk. I guess it embarrassed me that I had problems with being able to see, because instead of telling anyone about it, I snuck binoculars to school in my backpack. Yup. Sho did. I'd pull them out discreetly in class, take a quick look at the board, and read enough of whatever it was that I was supposed to read to get by.
Those of you who went to public school know that not too far into the school year, these nice ladies would come around with their giant machines and we'd get out of class for a little thing called 'vision screening', and it was on one of these days, in the 2nd grade, that it was finally determined that my eyesight was completely and totally pitiful.
This is a 2nd grade MK, pre-vision screening-
(It even looks like I'm having trouble focusing on whoever was taking the picture. Or maybe my awesome popsicle stick art was weighing my head down.)
and this is a 2nd grade MK, post-vision screening-
Bless my heart.
And those massive frames.
And those turquoise sweatpants.
That don't match my sweatshirt.
And one of the most valuable Barbie's I've ever had that I TOOK OUT OF THE BOX, thus diminishing her value.
But I was 8, and when you're 8, only crazy people leave Barbie's in a box.
Fast-forward to spring-
I replaced the Barbie with a kitten.
And the red bow with a white one.
Shout-out to Maxwell Elementary.
I wish I knew where that t-shirt was...
And here's proof that all I did in this year of my life, besides get massive glasses, was pose for pictures with stuff in my hands.
So, to my brandspankin' new 2nd grader, I say this:
and if you can't see a bloomin' thing,
For goodness sakes.
Thanks, hubs, for snapping our pic as we headed to school on Monday.
And remember the morning my little man had?
Here's a pre-bathroom trip pic of him with his new teacher, and a post-bathroom trip pic.
What a difference a trip to the loo can make, am I right?